I’ve been going through my messages to myself since January. Signs and signals came from all over XT and the company. I cowered when I should have pushed forward. And because of that, I held back our growth as people, team, and company. No more. Never again. Reference from earlier today: Matured Clarity
Read moreNotes to myself
Clutter signals a disease of the mind.
Indecision? Blocked energy? Unable to let go? Inability to manage time? Hoarding? Lack of clarity in the Now and Future? Inattention/distraction from environment?
Read moreThe medicine is often more bitter.
Words, Cause, Affect
If words have power over you,You are lost, before you can be found. You are worse than an automaton,An action-reaction, cause and effect machine,Affected by random cause,Thus your life is randomness at best.
Read moreChallenge me.
You do not challenge and debate me,Not because I do not permit it, (I welcome it!)But because you, yourself, are unclear. You are unclear in your position,Unclear in your speech,Unable to listen,Unable to reason. You get lost in your own tangled word phrases.You have no beginning or end.No path to walk in your chaotic forest of…
Read moreChange: Speed up.
t > $ We need to get better at moving faster, and faster, and faster. We move too slowly. Launching at 90% and capturing an opportunity is better than waiting for 100% and missing the window. Too many folks are playing Yesteryear’s game. Change: Speed up.
Read moreMeditation is required.
I need to rewire my brain. I’m obsessing over things that don’t matter. Confusing noise with signal. I don’t need to know everything all the time. In fact, I’m better off not knowing. To much knowledge is a bad thing. Signals: actual performance. Not hearsay or conjecture or gossip. If someone tells me something, am…
Read moreLeash
Something small came up at the office recently. I thought I’d shrugged it off. Apparently, I hadn’t. It stayed with me. Took root. Started growing. More weed than tree, and I know what happens when I leave those things alone. We’d received a report on how the company was doing. There was plenty to feel…
Read moreHow to get ruined
I’ve seen many people get ruined over time. These are some. The martyr who gets squeezed by two different generations. Old-school parents who put everything into their kids, have no savings, and now rely on their adult children to take care of them. The adult children are new-school ideology, have no expectations of their kids,…
Read moreHave you ever… Swim to shore!
Been unsure Emotionally compromised Falling out of love for the game Unclear Trapped Surrounded Noise noise noise Frequencies jammed Clarity lost — Not my first, won’t be my last, rodeo. – Swimming to shoreWhat most aren’t willing to do. The email came in.Not my first rodeo.Not in a place to fake it.Only one initiate, the singular most amongst all domains: swim to shore.
Read moreKnowing truths.
There are people who want to know it now. Tell me now, give it to me straight, doctor. How am I doing? What needs to change? Then there are people whose Ego gets in the way.Even a subtle hint throws them off track. They avoid hearing opinions and thoughts that may bruise their Ego. The world will…
Read moreZig-zag a bit.
I’m going to zig and zag a bit, but I’ll get to the final destination my way. And I won’t break any cardinal rules.
Read moreBigger Future = Better Present
The only way to make your present better is to make your future bigger.
Read moreWhat do you do for fun? I like to play games.
What’s your favourite game? Mine is the game of life. And I’m happiest when I’m beating it, stridently and whimsically. I love winning with ease. There’s no better way to win. Why not have the odds stacked in your favour? It’s not hard. What’s hard is blocking out the noise, sacrificing the BS. Then trailblaze…
Read moreAllergy? Stop eating everything for a while.
What did I mean by this? Was it about blocking out noise?About cleaning the internal system of toxins, physical or psychological?
Read moreLeadership Failures: I need to look inward.
____: an Excellent ___. How is he doing as a ___? If I don’t hold leadership accountable to higher standards, they lose, I lose, we all lose.I have things that I need, but can’t seem to get. Why is that? Simply, leadership failure. In this case, the failure point is me. If leadership is influence,…
Read moreMove bitch. Get out the way.
I need to really get the fuck out of the way. I need to be less at PD, not more. I need to lead from a distance, let my leaders lead and figure it out. I either trust them or don’t. If I do, I need to remove the training wheels. If I don’t, I…
Read moreOr forever hold your peace.
Speak now, or forever hold your peace. Are you intimidated by me? Do you have any reservations telling me your honest truth, unapologetically? Do have any reason to believe that our disagreements would negatively impact our relationship, working or personal?
Read moreJoy vs Anxiousness
You cannot hold both at the same time. Pick one.
Read moreIf you don’t understand…
If you don’t understand me, it doesn’t make me wrong; it just says something about your ability to understand.
Read moreLove makes me soft.
Love [may/can] make(s) me soft. I cannot have both. I cannot be soft while also Commander & Chief, managing and winning wars.
Read moreThe Merging
I need to merge the two selves: The Narrating Self and the Experiencing Self. Currently, these are not joined. I don’t consistently behave as the Narrating Self. In fact, I more often do not. The exception to this is when I’m alone. I like who I am, when I am alone. I’m quiet, more silent,…
Read moreNOISE. NOISE. NOISE.
NOISE. NOISE. NOISE. SO MUCH NOISE. So little focus. So much noise. So many things pulling at me. Really and truly, there are only a few things that are important. Will you learn? Yes. But I forget. What will you do to remember? Remember that you cannot overestimate the importance of almost everything. Systems. That’s…
Read moreYou’ve not been well. Get to safety.
It’s clear you’re wasting time, second-guessing yourself. Not studying, not working out, not crushing it. Meanwhile, looking for distractions. Doom scrolling. You know your best. This has not been it. Double down on what you know. UPDATE: Matured Clarity
Read moreWhat a boring meeting.
We want to get to $100M a year, and we spend 55 mins talking about ____’s simple transition from ____ to ____?! What a fucking nightmare. For the first time in my life, I was actually bored out of my mind in our XT meeting. The same people who could go through 15 major discussions…
Read moreMost men are cowards.
Let them hide in anonymity. What matters more is getting real feedback. Those who show courage will be rewarded [by life and God].
Read moreEmotionally compromised.
Between yesterday’s meeting, and a few other things, I’m not my best. I write this, acknowledging that I am emotionally compromised. It felt like we couldn’t get a win. One thing after another: another thing that’s not working at PD – that’s wrong, incorrect, bad. We moved from topic to topic, leaving the previous ones…
Read moreIn spite: scale, scale, scale.
There’s a bias that we can’t scale if we attempt to keep our current culture intact. This bias is based on people’s understanding of what cultural norms are. We, PD, are not a ‘normal culture’ because we’re in Toronto. We’re being assessed based on the norms of industries in Toronto. Certain cultural artifacts, however odd…
Read moreLeadership: Our Style?
I refuse to believe there’s only one way of leading. While people intellectually agree, when our style of leading differs from their convention, they’re quick to judge and assume it’s ineffective. Seldom, if ever, does the difference excite curiosity and wonder, questions and conversation. No. Quite the opposite. We’re told it doesn’t work because of…
Read moreStillness.
To see reality,You must see clearly.When the water is muddy,You need to mud to settleFor the water to become clear.To do this, you do nothing.Stillness.It is the only true way to see reality.
Read moreThere’s so much to meditate on…
You’re getting better, becoming more of the future You, you imagine and dream of. But the old, Young You, still pulls. And when in the moment, the Youthful You takes control, while the Future You feels regret and shame, moments later. There is much to meditate on.It may be time to really dive deep, become…
Read moreThe Way
بِسْمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيْمِ, Bismillah al-Rahman al-Rahim If you believe that the Universe, God, has chosen to bless you with power and influence, you must conclude that you have a duty to honour what you’ve been given. There’s a simple question: What does God want of you? That is the Way.
Read moreBroken People
Why are so many men and women broken? This is so very hard for me to understand. It’s especially hard to understand and empathize with people who lived and live privileged lives, complaining over trivial matters – meanwhile, we have heroes and heroines amongst us who have endured unimaginable hardships, and continue to battle new…
Read moreFear Drove Me
I didn’t have to be fearful or anxious. I didn’t have to punish myself, this unnecessary suffering, which only added weight, anchoring me to sadness and despair. I played the game on hard, and I didn’t know I had a choice to make it easy. In moments of blissful enlightenment, I realize how unnecessary it…
Read moreCowards just behave.
Cowards don’t recognize they are cowards. They just behave. As a snake does not identify as a snake, but simply behaves, so does a coward behave cowardly leaving a trail of fuckery, without truly identifying and accepting and acknowledging. Are you able to see the differences in animals?
Read moreDiscipline is hard, sans a schedule.
Discipline is so hard to have, especially when a schedule does not exist. I am enjoying the break from my normal disciplined life, for the most part. However, my inability to control my eating is cause for concern. What haven’t you done in a long time? Meditate bread in the middle of the day. Walk…
Read moreRomanticizing Kingdom
Yes, I have romantic feelings about life, history, and the future. From an early childhood, fascinated by Plato’s Republic, Alexander’s spreading of Athenian knowledge, the enlightenment era of Islam, and the never-setting sun of the English Empire. Dune. The ring bearers. Hogwarts. I believe.And why not? Why the fuck not?What are our options? Believing in…
Read moreSeek Approval
Of course, we do shit for the approval of others… The majority of us – let’s say, 99.9% of us – will always seek approval. We can work to release this biological reality for an eternity with no resolution. Or we can work with it and fuel our greatness. Seeking approval is not a sin…
Read moreI am…
I am an amplifier. I change things for the better. Everywhere I go, everything I touch, I improve on. This is an aspect of myself and my purpose.
Read moreDiscomfort From Disagreements
Why are disagreements uncomfortable? Man, what a big thing. Internal: To be liked. Not to be rejected. Not to become an outcast. External: Not wanting the person to feel unliked, rejected, or an outcast. What does the internal say about you?What does the external say about your perception (or understanding) of the other? What a…
Read moreNegotiation Through His Weakness
Every man has a weakness. Something they will never conquer (on their own). That is the entry point. That which you can do, overcome, and handle with ease, whilst this man struggles with. This is your entry point in negotiations. This is where range is your friend. The greater your range, the more you can…
Read moreWadel’s Fire
Thinking of Wadel. There are winners and losers. He’s a winner. Just in a rough spot. He’ll get out, eventually. He needs to stick with me. The world needs leadership. Hustlers. People with confidence and gusto. Fire in their bellies. Wadel is such a man.
Read moreSo much life is wasted.
A collective suffering unknown and uncalculated.A grown man in his mid-twenties, soft and weak. What great and unlimited potential. Who raised him? Parents who love, but know no better. Multiply this young man across millions, billions of lives. Massive unknown potential, all wasted. People lack leadership.There is a massive void in humanity of strong mothers and…
Read moreWhat Are The Problems You Are Solving?
What is the quality of the problems that you are solving? It’s not what you’re worth that matters. It’s what the job is worth.
Read moreThe dangers of Unspoken Expectations
The dangers of Unspoken Expectations… Resentment. The dangers of harbouring slights, insults, offences… Resentment. So much pain stems from the unwillingness to surface such thoughts, discuss them, and resolve them.
Read moreChange at your age…
Can you change? Harder as you age. Why? How do you break free?
Read moreSpeed and Trajectory
I have plenty of people in my community who I’ve mentored. Some have been in the country for only 4-5 years and are miles ahead of you. Why?Are they smarter or better than you? No.They’re simply operating on a different OS. You’re not going to get from here to there downloading mental apps. You need…
Read moreAll this work’n…
Work’n on this, that, the business, and stuff. How much time are you investing in working on yourself?
Read moreYears of Experience?
Years of Experience? Irrelevant. Tell me about the Hours of Experience. What is the total hours, concentrated hours, of experience?
Read moreSerious Reset
Over my life, my days, where I put my energy. I need a serious serious reset. Nobody knows the pressures of a CEO. How much I’m stretched. How many different things are pulling me in different directions in a single hour, in a single moment? At the end of the day, I have completed nothing. …
Read moreEnjoy the work.
You will learn to enjoy the thing you need to do. All games are enjoyable. It’s on you to learn the game, and find enjoyment in it. Your work
Read moreConfidence or Courage?
Of course, courage all day long. Courage enables you to move forward. With courage, you develop experience. With experience, you build confidence. Courage comes before confidence.
Read moreSome of you have a spark
That fire within. That deserves to be flames. Sometimes ignited, sometimes fueled. It deserves to be alive, consuming, and raging, until it is within control, a consistent controlled burning.
Read moreClients with Baggage. We love them.
What is a perfect week?
DIETS Seven days of eating healthy. Lunch provides high protein, chicken breast, tuna, or boiled eggs. Super healthy grain bread and perhaps an avocado for extra fat. Dinners begin no later than 6 pm, starting with a large salad, followed by lean meat and a very small portion of healthy carbs. WORKOUTS Strong, stable, and…
Read moreExecutive Mentor
My company doesn’t need me doing 75% of the things I currently do. What my company needs is for me to grow to the next level of leadership. To do that most effectively and speedily, I need to surround myself with leaders I can respect, admire, look up to, and follow. I need to do…
Read moreYou, The Who?
Who are You? Who are you most pissed off at? You, the Weak.You, the Pathetic.You, the Mediocre. Who are you? You, the Conqueror.You, the Focused.You, the Disciplined. Ay You! The weak, pathetic, and mediocre! Whose love do you crave?Whose judgement do you fear?Who is the master you serve?! The love of Self, the Focused!The judgement…
Read moreWho’s talking about family?
FAMILY LIFE: Oh, how a good one amplifies success!
Read moreThe Cost of Dreams
Small dreams cost a little. Big dreams cost the same. Why do we pay so much in life to have little dreams,When we can have big dreams that pay dividends?
Read moreFlashiness and Slickness
The goal is to solve the problem, not to be sexy or flashy or slick. If solving the problem requires it, then so be it. But if it doesn’t, then don’t make it your priority. What is the problem? What is the most effective and efficient way to solve the problem? What is the problem…
Read moreAs vs Bs & Cs
A small team of A Players can run circles around a massive team of B and C Players. Can you think dialectically? (from YYZ to SFO)
Read moreDetachment
I need to keep a healthy distance from my generals and soldiers. (from YYZ to SFO)
Read moreFocus
Focus. The word I avoid looking at. It’s my Achilles Heel. I can do anything, but only if I focus. My days and weeks get devoured by unfocused activities. Not nearly enough water and sun are devoted to my seeds of greatness. Opportunities floundered. This is the thing I must master. Relentless, simplified: focus. (from…
Read moreProblems = Opportunities
Calmness and composure. Going into 45, this is what must be mastered. Solving problems is the work. Without problems, there’s no work. Problems = opportunity to solve = work = value = money. Repeat over and over again. (from YYZ to SFO)
Read moreClass > Money
I’d rather be poor and have class, than rich and without class.
Read moreMy issue with your enlightenment:
So you did (another) hero dose of psychedelics. 👍👍👍 Good for you, buddy. And how long will you hold on to your newfound enlightenment before you need another dose? As if the wise sages in the past needed deprivation tanks, shamans, energy healing, micro and macro dosing. For fucks sakes. Get over yourself. Grow up. Mature. …
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